LOW SELF-ESTEEM OR SELF-CONFIDENCE

Life at times can be difficult enough without having the extra burden of carrying around additional feelings of low self-worth. Most people suffering with depression and anxiety find it difficult to break out of negative self-defeating cycles due to underlying causes of low self-worth. Often people have denied, ignored and repressed these uncomfortable feelings for so long, that they have forgotten who they are without them. Others don’t understand what these feelings are or how to face them and some hope they will go away with time or fade away by themselves.

The beliefs we have about ourselves directly impact our feelings and behaviours. Any negative beliefs we have about ourselves, adversely affect how we feel, the choices we make and therefore the way we behave. This in turn affects how we relate to others and react to situations in life. When these beliefs have become firmly entrenched within us, they can lead to feelings of powerlessness, failure, hopelessness, and despair. Over time, this can lead to really low self-esteem which can have a direct impact on the quality of a person’s life in so many ways. Unfortunately, low self-esteem can lead to depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse, self-harming and suicide.

The beliefs you have about yourself are formed from the experiences you have had in your life, particularly your childhood, and the interpretations and conclusions you have made from these experiences about yourself. Those people who have had more negative experiences in their lives are often going to think more negatively about themselves and perceive the world more negatively than those who have had more positive experiences. It is the first few years of a child’s life that really sets the foundation for how a person perceives themselves today. It is the earliest experiences that have the most significant impact on our self-esteem and self-worth and which determine a person’s future view of themselves and of life itself. The perceptions and beliefs you have about yourself today have been shaped mostly by what you experienced and observed in your childhood, from your family, school, peers and the wider community. Early experiences of consistent punishment, neglect and abuse, rejection or criticism from significant people such as parents or teachers often are what causes low self-esteem. Feeling different or like the odd one out at home or school, being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress and the absence of love, affection, praise, encouragement, warmth or interest all contribute to low self-worth and low self-esteem.

Negative experiences later in life, can also negatively affect a person’s self-esteem. Abusive personal relationships, traumatic events, persistent stress from financial hardships, ongoing health issues, the loss a loved one, and workplace bullying and intimidation can adversely affect our self-worth or further exacerbate and compound existing feelings of low self-esteem. Over time these can all lead to feelings of self-doubt, failure, powerlessness, hopelessness, despair and low self-esteem.

Usually the beliefs and opinions we form about ourselves in early childhood are biased and inaccurate because they are based on the egocentric perception of a child’s point of view. Up until the ages of around nine, a child is still developing their own ability to filter their perceptions and experiences and create their own beliefs. They are still learning how to interpret how they feel about themselves and the world around them. At this early age, a child believes that what happens to them, is because of them, thinking they are the cause and they therefore take responsibility for what happens to them. When a child experiences stress at an early age, they lack the ability to critically analyse and evaluate the situation from a broader adult perspective, and fail to take into consideration all the influencing factors contributing to the situation. As a result of this biased perception, they create inaccurate and often false beliefs about themselves because this is all the information they had and this is therefore what makes sense to them at the time. Unfortunately, once these beliefs are created, they are usually well-formed and continue to impact the child’s future interpretations and experiences in life. These beliefs become the child’s future reference point for their perceptions and choices in life. The child will continue to use these formed beliefs as a template to live their life from. Based on the experiences, and beliefs created from these experiences, a person will continue to repeat patterns of thinking and behaving, which only strengthen over time. These beliefs about yourself become reinforced and strengthened over time because you give weight and attention to anything that is consistent with your current beliefs, and you discount anything that is not. Your beliefs eventually appear to become statements of fact, however in reality they are only opinions.

Negative personal opinions such as the beliefs that we are inadequate or defective, inferior, not good enough, unworthy, incompetent, or unlovable, are corrosive to our self-worth and undermine our capacity to live a full and happy life. These beliefs are often the underlying causes of unhappiness, depression and deep insecurity. However, these beliefs are merely pre-conditioned ways of responding to certain situations or triggers. They are habits of thinking and learned behaviour. So the good news is, that they can be unlearned and old limiting, and self-defeating patterns of thinking can be reset and transformed using the correct methods and appropriate healing techniques.

To transform these beliefs and begin to start rebuilding your self-esteem, it is essential to examine and identify the negative underlying thinking and behavioural patterns that are running in your life so that we can work to break these patterns at the conscious and most importantly, the subconscious level.

We will first help you become more self-aware of your thoughts, emotions and patterns of behaviour and help you to identify the underlying limiting beliefs and perceptions you have about yourself. We will challenge your current limiting beliefs and perceptions that are preventing you from being the best you can be and from living to your highest potential. The beliefs that are held in your subconscious, govern how you feel and subsequently how you behave. We will use a combination of therapies including hypnosis and EMDR therapy to help reset and reprogram these beliefs which are held in the subconscious, helping to align your subconscious beliefs with your conscious desires. These therapies work at the deepest subconscious level addressing the root underlying cause, helping you to gain long lasting and permanent relief from the patterns of thinking and behaving that were holding you back.